This, too, will pass.

My mind is suicidal. the past is dark,depressing,lonely. the future is hopeless,depressing,alone.all i have is the NOW.

Knowing yourself deeply has nothing to do with whatever ideas are floating around in your mind.  The mind puts me down, wants an answer which i cant give. Only answer is being present,which the mind doesnt understand.The mind seeks the answer outside by rebelling, pumping up the music, lashing out at everyone to make sense and understand y. It goes through the history chapters,looking for a cure,some hope.When it cant find an answer, it dies...bringing u depression.If you open the back door,the depression will jump on u as a symbiote.....

.....if you give in....u get extremely depressed.The mind couldnt find an answer and has given up.Given up on you.The mind will taunt you,when you dont take action.When its time to step up,the mind runs around in loops looking for an answer.But in reality,your actions were in the NOW.Mind goes nuts....and gets exhausted.The key to transformation is to make friends with this moment. What form it takes doesn't matter.Say yes to it. Allow it.Be with it. This, too, will pass.