a night at hoboken

so i had alil bit too much vodka. i cut back, but on an empty stomach smirnoff hit hard. approached a couple of sets do come back home with me. it didnt work. did shock and awe on 2 sets but it didnt work. i had too much vodka to go back and continue. met a russian barsmaid going back home. did the same line i did on other girls and she was receptive to everything. i didnt ask her to comeback home but she was interested in meeting again. we parted ways on the train station. inside its not me she is attracted to. alot of indian guys have been to russia and russian women love brown skin men. it doesnt matter what they say. call it self-sabotage of my part,but i dont think i did anything to get her attn. maybe she was looking for an indian guy to begin with. will i reply back? NO. i failed today by drinking too much vodka. white,black,spanish girls shut me down as always. if it wasnt for power of now, i would have a bullet in my head. a human can only take so much. oh well.....makes u question the supreme power. y would it let its good human beings suffer so much pain. we havent done anything wrong. we just want to be accepted and loved. u realize that GOD has left this place a long long time ago. so only thing u can do is be merciless with ur ego at the age of 31, and keep on fighting. life is like a car of racetrack. once in a while ur car might get in a spin. its ur job to put it on track. i dont know how long i can do this, but i have nothing else going on for me. at the end, as my friend immoretull said, "Nobody cares if u live or die". i was a believer in LIVE n LET LIVE. on this road cold life, with so much hate, i say LIVE AND LET DIE.............