Sitting Still Moving Still Staring Outlooking

i took a break from anthony robbins, eckhart tolle, ross jeffries...went to extreme depresssion.i know what i want, i visualize it....but i cant act upon it. when im faced with approaching...i draw a blank n just go back to what i was doing.before i wasnt even approaching, but now i am...positive affirmations to my mind doesnt kick in when im looking to approach women.i know i can do it,but just dont.power of now doesnt kick in when im in the club.state just isnt there.not having sex in 5 yrs n only once before that doesnt come to my mind when im the lounge/bar/club.i berate myself when im home and when im at the club i dont approach.too pussy to end this waste life, so im just suffering.hoping a girl comes and plucks me.that will not happen in reality....im shattered in every way.just dont believe in myself.want to start drinking liquor but i dont want to...i want to do this sober....HELP ME